This year so far...

Most of the people who actually read this blog are my friends in real life and/or on facebook, so this shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone, but I'm pregnant. I wanted to capture more of my thoughts about this then I'm able to on facebook. I also figure I'll have more to write about now that I'm having a baby, so that may be good for keeping up with this blog. (I feel like all of my posts lately have been talking about how long it's been since I last blogged.) Needless to say, that is what most of my year has consisted of, so here's the scoop:

Jason and I were finally comfortable with the idea of trying to have a child. We wanted to try to time it as close to the end of the school year as possible (as if we're in control of that), so I would have the summer break as a built-in maternity leave. Once we passed that, I knew that we would conceive whenever God wanted us to, so I was just excited to see when it would happen. There is this song that Prestonwood Choir sings, which I love ("God (You Are My God)"). The words start, "Oh, Thou who knowest my beginning, Thou who created the plan. Who orchestrated my life's journey, God, you are my God." (I love the concept of God orchestrating things in my life, hence the title of this blog.) Anyway, I kept thinking about how God would know my baby's beginning, even before I knew of it. How cool is that?

In the middle of January, I started to suspect that I may be pregnant. I had been tracking my temperature, and based on that, I was thinking that I may be. I told Jason that I was planning to take a pregnancy test the next day. So on the morning of January 16, I got up and took the test. It immediately flashed the word "pregnant." Gulp. Now, even though I had been wanting this for a few months now, I think I sort of felt like, "Oh, no, it really happened." Not that I didn't want it or anything, I think all of a sudden all of these nerves and fears shot through me. I went back to bed, where Jason was, and I just said, "I am." All he said was, "You are?" It was surreal. Of course, once we got up, he immediately modified the budget for this year. We also moved some of the furniture out of the baby's room. (That is definitely one of Jason's strengths--he gets things done right away.)

My original plan was that I didn't want to tell anyone, not even our parents, that we were pregnant until I was 12 weeks. Partly to make it to the "safer" time, and partly to do something creative to tell them. Well, the more the day went on, I just wanted to be able to share the news with them. So we decided to call our parents and tell them our news. Of course, they were so excited. And I probably wouldn't have been able to get done the creative way of letting them know anyway.

One of the main things that I remember thinking at that point was that I knew things were going to totally change, even though I didn't fully comprehend how. Also, I knew my body was going to totally transform, in a way I couldn't imagine. It was weird knowing that something was in there and not coming out until after all these huge changes occurred. And even then, things would never be like they were before. From what I've read, that's totally a normal feeling. Of course, there's excitement, but there's a lot of fear of the unknown, too.

Soon after I found out I was pregnant, I already started to feel queasy. That is definitely not the fun part of being pregnant. I'd say my "morning" sickness (which was pretty constant) lasted for about 6 to 8 weeks. Thankfully, I was not one of the minority who are sick throughout their whole pregnancy.

It didn't fully hit me, though, until my 8-week sonogram, the first peek we had at our baby. As soon as I saw that picture and realized that that was inside me, it was just a weird feeling. I did tear up, especially knowing that the baby was measuring at the appropriate size. It was at that point that I let my friends know and announced it on facebook. Before that point, I had figured we were having a boy, but after seeing the little peanut picture, I started thinking of the baby more as a girl. By the time we found out, I was pretty sure it was a girl.

First photo of the baby

I was so excited for my mother-in-law to find out, because since she has 2 sons and a grandson, she was itching to have a granddaughter. We had had an early peek from my friend and former roommate, and although she didn't give us a definitive, she was pretty sure that it was a girl. We didn't tell people at that point, but waited until my 16-week sonogram. My mother-in-law, Barbara, was there for that. It was funny, because when the scan first started, she was referring to the baby as "he." She told Jason, "I think he has your foot." Then, when the tech said she was leaning toward a girl, Barbara said, "What?!" She asked us if that's what Debra told us. When we said it was, she gave out a little scream. Jason joked that everyone at the doctor's office knew what we were having. It was so fun to see, though!

It's a girl! (16 weeks)

 

We've decided on the name Emery Elizabeth. We've actually had the name for about 4 and a half years. Jason's grandfather was named Emory. It's also Jason's middle name. He told me about 6 months after we were married that he wanted to use the name Emory for either a boy or a girl. I've always wanted to use Elizabeth for a middle name, since that's my grandmother's first name (she goes by her middle name, though.) So when he said that, I immediately thought Emery Elizabeth would be such a pretty name. So I've been hoping for over 4 years that we would have a girl so that I could use this name. And sure enough, that's what we're getting!

16 week profile. Isn't she cute?

As we get our nursery together more, I'll update and post more pictures on here. I'm now at 23 weeks, and I'm definitely a lot more ready for these changes. I know I'm not fully prepared. I hear you never really are, though. But I can't wait to see what she looks like, which of us she favors, what her personality is going to be, and all of that. Within the last week I've been feeling her move a lot more, which is really cool, as everyone has told me. Then last week, I read these verses from Psalm 139:13-16. I've heard them for years, but they definitely take on a different meaning now. "You made my whole being; you formed me in my mother's body. I praise you because you made me in an amazing and wonderful way. What you have done is wonderful. I know this very well. You saw my bones being formed as I took shape in my mother's body. When I was put together there, you saw my body as it was formed. All the days planned for me were written in your book before I was one day old." Again, knowing that God knows all of the days of Emery's life, already, even as she is still being formed inside of me, it's just really comforting. And amazing!