An Orchestrated Life

I think I'm changing the name of my blog now. An orchestrated life...notes about how God is in control of things in my life. One of my favorite movies is Serendipity. If you haven't seen it, two people meet randomly at a store and have a connection even though they're both dating other people. The guy wants the girl's phone number, and she writes it in a book, which she promptly sells to a used bookstore. He writes his number on a $5 bill. She states that if they are supposed to be together, then these items will cross their paths again. Of course, because it's a predictable chick flick (which is why we love them), they do eventually find the items, and each other, again. Even though the characters attribute it to fate, I believe that God works that specifically in my life. I've always loved the concept that God orchestrates things in our lives. It gives me this picture of His hand behind the things that happen to me. Just like in an orchestra, where you have different instruments playing different things that, together, make gorgeous music, so in life, the different circumstances I encounter contributes to the gorgeous music of my life.

It's really helpful to remember that God is in control of the details of my life. I don't always live like that in my daily circumstances--letting little things bother me too much, or worrying about situations that I don't need to. This has been on my mind lately because I realize that I've been looking for God to do something big in my life. He has in the past, so I think if it's not something big, then He's not doing anything. But sometimes, a lot of times, you just have to wait. Wait and see what happens. I've just been struggling with contentment lately. In lots of areas. I think my discontentment comes from a lack of belief that God IS truly controlling the details of my life.

It has helped me to remember past situations. One of my favorites is when I had just completed my thesis for grad school. I was on leave from a teaching position, and I finished my thesis 2 weeks before school started. At that time, I had not looked for a school psychologist position, which is what my schooling was for. There were no positions available when I did submit my resume, so I figured I was going to go back to teaching. Now, this was not what I wanted to do, since I had spent the last 4 years of my life getting little to no pay and having little to no social life so that I could become a school psychologist. My journal from that time is filled with pleading prayers for direction and for something to open up, with declarations that I really did not want to go back to teaching and requests to change my attitude, and acknowledgement that whatever God had purposed for me for that year was OK. Then I got "the curve ball." The day before teachers reported back to school, I got a call to come in for an interview. Now, I thought they were doing this so that when a position came open in the middle of the year they could place me then. But when I got in, I found out that someone had resigned so she could move closer to her elderly parents. So they offered me the position right then. It was SUCH a blessing, and God even worked it out that I was able to work with the leaving psychologist for a week, so she was able to help acclimate me to the school. And in terms of the people I worked with, that school was the best position I've had thus far. That's been 6 years now, but that was such a great blessing to see God at work in the details of my life like that. It's good to remember God's works, isn't it?

Now, I think I'm going to watch Serendipity :)