Waiting...

I've been thinking about this episode of Fringe that I saw once. In the episode, a woman had become pregnant, gone through the pregnancy, given birth, and the baby grew into an adult and died all in the matter of about an hour or so. Since I've been pregnant, I have thought about how glad I am that we don't have to go through the physical changes of pregnancy in that short of a time. I couldn't imagine the pain.

Then a couple of weeks ago, Jason asked me didn't I wish that it was that quick. I know he was thinking about once you're ready, then don't you wish you could just have the baby. But that got me thinking about the whole timeline of pregnancy. Aside from the obvious, the growth of the baby taking that long, I think that the time is definitely needed for the emotional preparation. I remember when I first found out, it just seemed so far away and not even real yet. I also didn't feel bonded yet. And I kept saying that I hadn't completely grasped that a real baby was going to be there in the end. Like for the rest of my life. As I began to feel the baby move, I did begin to feel more bonded, and aware that, yes, there is a real baby in there. So, I definitely think that the nine months are a necessary length of time, just for the emotional and mental processing of this huge life change.

Now, I'm the day before my due date, and I am just mentally ready for this baby to come. It's so weird to not know exactly when it's going to happen. I've been looking forward to September 22 for months. I know she still could come in the next couple of days, but I also think that it could be around a week from now. If tomorrow comes and goes and I'm still pregnant, I hope I'm not disappointed. I know that she'll be born whenever God wants her to come, whenever she's ready, and I wouldn't want it to be any sooner. And honestly, I keep telling everyone I'm really not that uncomfortable, so it's not like I'm miserable and have to get her out. So I'm thankful for that. But I am mentally just ready to have her, excited for Jason and myself to experience becoming parents, and looking forward to the family meeting Emery in the flesh. And because I'm using sick days for my maternity leave, I'm working up until I have her. I've finished everything that I needed to get done before I went out. I still have work to do, it just could wait until I came back, if needed. But since I'm still there, I am working on things that I can get done. But when I know I could have this baby any day, I just find it hard to be motivated. I know that's understandable.

I can't wait to see when her birthday is. I wonder how labor will happen for me, too. At this point, I haven't progressed very much. Also, Emery hasn't really dropped that much. I know that all of that can happen so suddenly. As of yesterday, I was not "induceable." I go back in two days to see if any more progress has been made and for another estimate of her weight. I guess we'll talk more about induction then (if I haven't gone into labor on my own).

Now that the nursery is ready, I wanted to post pictures of it. All we need is Emery!