At my church we've been going through a series called "Creating Space." It's basically about what it sounds like it's about. Creating space in our lives. The first message particularly spoke to me. He was talking about giving yourself more time, so you aren't just rushing to places last minute. He was specifically talking about church so that you can get yourself in the frame of mind to worship, but I needed to hear that for all aspects of my life. He also talked about just resting in God's sovereignty, trusting Him to work and not feeling like we have to do all this stuff in order for things to happen. Which was something that I needed to be reminded of at that time. I have all these things that I want for me and Jason, and our future family, and I have to just remember that God knows best (so I may not even really want what I think I want) and that He will work things out in my life according to His will. And I don't have to work so hard to make it happen. Not that I just sit back and do nothing, but it's not up to me. I'm not in charge.
Also in our small group, we've been reading the book Crazy Love. I really like it so far. But in one of the chapters he talks about the fact that we aren't promised tomorrow. Yet we live like we are entitled to it. I've heard the sermons before about the passage in James, where it says not to boast about tomorrow, because you don't know what a day will bring. But I guess this was the same weekend as the first Creating Space message, and something was said about that passage that really hit me about God's sovereignty again. Not only could something happen causing us to not be here tomorrow, but also something could happen to take us along a completely different path than we planned. There have been many things in my life that have changed as a result of events and decisions that were made within a day. So it just reiterated to me that God is in control, He knows what tomorrow will bring, and thankfully, I can trust that He loves me.
In that same chapter of Crazy Love, he talks about 50 or 100 years from now, nobody will even remember you. That made me think about how my sister has been doing some research on our ancestry. And it's true, some of those names are just names. It's who I came from, but I don't know them. I'm sure their lives were just as important to them as mine is to me, but apart from a few details, I know nothing about them or what they felt was important. The author states that our lives are basically two-fifths of a second in God's timeline. Makes you feel pretty insignificant, doesn't it? And makes you think twice about what is important.
Of course, that doesn't mean I don't still want things that are probably meaningless. But I'm just realizing that they aren't as important, and if it happens, great, but if not, then my life is still blessed.
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